Are you sleeping on your pillow wrong? Sleep experts explain how to fix this common mistake that can lead to neck pain

If you didn’t sleep well last night, it may be because you’re making this simple mistake when it comes to how you’re sleeping on your pillow.

It may sound absurd but it turns out that many of us don’t know how to sleep on a pillow the right way, and this can lead to discomfort and neck pain, restless sleep and wasted money. After all, it’s impossible to find the best pillow for our sleep needs if we don’t know how we should be using a pillow in the first place.

As Ideal Home’s Sleep Editor one of the most common questions I come across is ‘should your shoulders be on your pillow when you sleep?’, and there’s a definitive answer.

I asked a registered osteopath, a sleep science expert, and multiple sleep experts to explain all.

Should your shoulders be on your pillow when you sleep?

So, should your shoulders be on your pillow when you sleep? 'Absolutely not,’ says Hannah Shore, head of Sleep Science at Mattress Online. ‘Your pillow should provide support for your neck and your head in order to keep your head in the right position for correct spinal alignment. Your mattress should be supporting the rest of your body.’

‘No, your shoulders should not be on your pillow,’ confirms James Leinhardt, sleep posture expert and founder of sleep brand Levitex. ‘Instead, let your pillow support only your head and neck while keeping your shoulders relaxed on the mattress.’

Emily and Jonathan Attwood, founders of bedding manufacturer scooms agree. ‘Your shoulders shouldn't rest on the pillow as this can cause misalignment and place unnecessary strain on the neck. Instead, your pillow should support your head and neck, whilst allowing your shoulders to rest comfortably on the mattress. This sleeping position will ensure a natural spinal alignment, reducing the risk of waking up with stiffness or pain.’

The answer seems to be unanimous; sleeping with your shoulders on the pillow is a big no-no. So why have so many of us developed this unhealthy way of sleeping?

‘It is a common misconception, due to TV and films, that you should lay with your shoulders on your pillow,’ explains sleep expert James Wilson, aka The Sleep Geek. ‘However, this isn’t the case. It's recommended to keep your shoulders off the pillow as having them on the pillow can cause spinal misalignment and result in neck pain.’

That said, registered osteopath, sleep expert, and founder of The Sleep Site Dave Gibson does point out there can be one exception to this rule. ‘The short answer is no, you shouldn’t sleep with your shoulders on the pillow,’ says Dave, ‘unless you are trying to raise your upper body, neck, and head for medical reasons such as to combat heartburn or reflux at night.’

‘If you find that you need a pillow under your shoulders to feel comfortable while trying to sleep, it may indicate that your mattress is not providing adequate support and may need to be replaced,’ sleep expert Dave Gibson goes on to reveal.

When it comes to how often you should change your mattress, experts advise roughly every seven years. So if your mattress is reaching the end of its lifespan, it may be time to bite the bullet and invest in a new one. Ideal Home's guide to the best mattresses on the market can help you find a sleep surface that offers better support.

Should your neck be on your pillow?

Our experts are clear that shoulders do not belong on pillows, but how about if you're wondering, 'should your neck be on your pillow?'. This query also got a unanimous response from our sleep experts.

‘Yes!’ says sleep scientist Hannah Shore. ‘Your neck should be in contact with your pillow as your neck will need support throughout the night.’

'Yes, your pillow’s job is to support your head and neck in a neutral position,’ agrees sleep expert James Wilson.

‘The main purpose of using a pillow is to support your head and upper neck,’ confirms osteopath Dave Gibson. The idea being ‘to keep the whole of your spine in a neutral alignment from your neck down to your lower back. This alignment is crucial for reducing strain on the neck muscles and ensuring comfortable sleep.’

‘Absolutely,’ concludes sleep posture expert James Leinhardt. ‘Your neck should always be on your pillow. A good pillow's main job is to support your head and keep your neck aligned with the mattress. Think of your pillow as a way to give your neck a break by keeping it properly supported while you sleep.’

So there we go, two questions answered once and for all; don't sleep with your shoulders on your pillow, but do make sure your neck is resting on it for the best support.

Of course, finding a pillow that supports your neck is all about choosing a pillow to match your sleeping position. Our guide to how to choose the right pillow has the full detail, but it's important to remember that the best pillow for a side sleeper won't be the same as the best pillow for a back sleeper.

'For back sleepers, a medium thick pillow can help keep the neck aligned with the rest of the spine,' explains osteopath Dave. 'Side sleepers typically need a thicker pillow to fill the space between the neck and the mattress, ensuring the spine stays straight.'

'If you prefer to lie face down, you will need either a very thin pillow under your head or no pillow at all to achieve the most comfortable position. That said I would recommend that if you are a stomach sleeper you change the position to either side-lying or back-lying which are far better for spinal alignment and preventing potential neck strain from stomach sleeping.'

Sleep posture expert James agrees. 'I’d recommend picking one of two optimised positions to go to sleep in that will help you make sure you're keeping your neck in the right position on your pillow. Everyone is different with what they find comfortable, but the two best positions you can sleep in are what I call 'The Dreamer' or 'The Soldier'.'

'The Dreamer is when you lie in the semi-foetal position with your knees bent. This is well evidenced to put the least amount of tension through your spine whilst you sleep. If you can sleep with a pillow in between your knees and ankles, that’s even better, because this position is more neutral and supportive, and you are less likely to wake up in pain.'

'The Soldier involves sleeping on your back with a pillow under your knees, ensuring your spine stays in a neutral position, which can reduce morning aches, and fatigue and improve overall sleep quality. If you find it hard to sleep on your side, this one is for you. Think of a good standing posture – this one the same, just on your bed.'

So, have our experts convinced you to change the way you're using your pillow? Let me know in the comments!