HAPPY CHRISTMAS! We're hope you're having a wonderful day so far. Fingers crossed the turkey isn't too dry, your roasties are crispy – not burnt – and your gifts were gratefully received.
Related: The 10 things Christmas hosts are most likely to forget
By our calculations, you should be pulling your Christmas crackers soon – if not right now. In our experience, the jokes inside can sometimes be a bit of a letdown, which inspired us to create one last gift for you – a list of Christmas cracker jokes for interiors lovers.
We hope they'll give you an extra giggle or two today.
Q. What do you call a moustachioed American detective working in a kitchen showroom?
A. Magnet P.I.
Q. What's blue and smells like yellow paint?
A. Blue paint.
Q. Have you heard that Macaulay Culkin is remaking two of his most famous films in a candle shop?
A. We can't wait to see Jo Malone and Jo Malone 2.
Q. What's the best way to shop in a German supermarket?
A. Lidl and often.
Q. What did Pinocchio's mum do when she got too big for his school uniform?
A. She had to Sand-Er-Son.
Q. What's a double-glazing salesperson's favourite operating system?
A. Windows.
Q. And what's their favourite band?
A. The Doors.
Q. While we're on the subject, why does a former First Lady have trouble seeing out of her windows?
A. Hillary's Blind(s).
Q. What do you call a man lying on your doorstep?
A. Matt.
Q. If you're cold, why should you stand in the corner of a room?
A. Because it's always around 90 degrees.
Q. I sold my Dyson vacuum cleaner the other day.
A. Why? It was just gathering dust.
Q. What do you do when your old sofa isn't looking too good?
A. Hope that it re-covers
Q. What do you call a cat that's really good at building Ikea furniture?
A. An assembly kit
Love Ideal Home? Subscribe and enjoy 43 per cent off – plus an extra 10 per cent off with code XMAS10
Hopefully, at least a few of these have put a smile on your face this Christmas.
-
I put the Simba Hybrid Duvet to the test to see if its 'cool tech' would stop me overheating in bed - here's what happenedAs Ideal Home's Sleep Editor and a self-certified hot sleeper, I tested the Simba Hybrid Duvet on my own bed to see if it's 'cool tech' is worth the investment
-
These are the 4 things I wish I knew before buying outdoor solar lights, so you don’t make the same mistakes I didOutdoor solar lights can be both effective and aesthetic, but only if you buy the right ones
-
These 5 kitchen retailers have the biggest Black Friday discounts we've seen - save money on your renovation just before ChristmasConsidering a kitchen renovation in the new year? This is the best time to buy
